After many years of what I thought was a healthy relationship, I am leaving a man who has supported my family for twenty years. At first our time together was all smiles and gentle words of encouragement. He was really good to my kids. I loved that about him. Now that the kids have grown and are off living lives of their own, he’s begun to turn on me. This change in behavior - not making me a priority, blasting me with critical words and impatience with how I make decisions for myself - is impossible to tolerate at this point in my life. I know what you’re thinking. Really I do. I’ve thought it myself a million times. You’re thinking that twenty years together is a long time so why would I leave at this late date. The reason is that I just can’t take it anymore .
I’m breaking up with my optometrist.
He might be an ophthalmologist. I don’t care.
I don’t consider this change in my status anyone else’s business. I’ve been hiding it from my friends and family because I don’t want to care what anyone thinks of me. Unfortunately, one of my flaws is that I do give a flying fig about what people think about me, so I’m going to tell you why I’m calling it quits. I’m only doing this so you don’t think I’m the bad guy in this. And don’t try to talk me out of it. I’m so over this guy.
Reason #1 He has his secretary set dates for us. He actually has her call me. Is one phone call from him so much to ask? When we do finally have a date, he makes me wait for what seems like forever, sitting in uncomfortable chairs in his fancy, schmancy office lobby and wondering if he’s going to stand me up again. He sends people out who promise that he’ll show up soon and when we finally meet, he’s never alone. He always brings someone from work with him! Can you believe that?
Reason #2 After we finally have time together, we can’t have a conversation because he just asks me questions over and over about things that don’t make sense to me. It’s all numbers, “One or two? Three or four? Four or five?” What is that? I don’t have to sit there and take the nonstop number game.
Reason #3 He is always so critical of how I spend my time away from him. “Do you wear sunglasses? How often do you use drops in your eyes? Are you taking fish oil supplements?” Come on, again with the questions. Let’s dialogue. Let’s talk about something important.
Reason #4 He gets snotty when I don’t do what he says. I refused to let him take yet another scan of my retinas and he got all “I hope you know what you’re doing. I might be saving your vision.” I know what I’m doing and I know what he’s doing. I’m protecting myself from him posting those photos of my naked eyes all over the internet. I’m nobody’s fool. My eyes are my business. The eye is a wonderfully shaped ball created by God to let me see Her amazing world. I consider the inside of my balls to be my private area. I don’t care who you are, you’re not flashing them to strangers. Period. End of story.
Reason #5 When we finish our time together, he always makes me pay. What a jerk. I never see him take out his wallet. I don’t think he even carries one.
Reason #6 He’s just mean to me. If I hear him say, “As you get older, your eyes dry out and there’s nothing you can do about it,” one more time, I’m going to lose my temper. It’s not polite to talk about people’s age and everybody who’s not mean knows that. I swear that I will knock him down if I ever again hear him say, “At your age” or “At this stage of your life” .
That’s it. That’s the end of that story. I’m sure more issues will raise their ugly heads. Like dead flowers in my garden, I’ll chop those little heads off and throw them away. Actually I’ll compost them, so I can do my little part in saving our planet. I’ve already replaced my ex with a wonderful woman. I am ready for something new. I’m hoping this relationship will prove to be more mutually beneficial. Life is about change and staying available for that change. Change requires flexibility that allows you to roll with it and not get all tangled up in it. I’m very flexible now. In fact, I’m so flexible from all the changes in my life that I no longer have a spine, which is a whole other story.
I’m breaking up with my optometrist.
He might be an ophthalmologist. I don’t care.
I don’t consider this change in my status anyone else’s business. I’ve been hiding it from my friends and family because I don’t want to care what anyone thinks of me. Unfortunately, one of my flaws is that I do give a flying fig about what people think about me, so I’m going to tell you why I’m calling it quits. I’m only doing this so you don’t think I’m the bad guy in this. And don’t try to talk me out of it. I’m so over this guy.
Reason #1 He has his secretary set dates for us. He actually has her call me. Is one phone call from him so much to ask? When we do finally have a date, he makes me wait for what seems like forever, sitting in uncomfortable chairs in his fancy, schmancy office lobby and wondering if he’s going to stand me up again. He sends people out who promise that he’ll show up soon and when we finally meet, he’s never alone. He always brings someone from work with him! Can you believe that?
Reason #2 After we finally have time together, we can’t have a conversation because he just asks me questions over and over about things that don’t make sense to me. It’s all numbers, “One or two? Three or four? Four or five?” What is that? I don’t have to sit there and take the nonstop number game.
Reason #3 He is always so critical of how I spend my time away from him. “Do you wear sunglasses? How often do you use drops in your eyes? Are you taking fish oil supplements?” Come on, again with the questions. Let’s dialogue. Let’s talk about something important.
Reason #4 He gets snotty when I don’t do what he says. I refused to let him take yet another scan of my retinas and he got all “I hope you know what you’re doing. I might be saving your vision.” I know what I’m doing and I know what he’s doing. I’m protecting myself from him posting those photos of my naked eyes all over the internet. I’m nobody’s fool. My eyes are my business. The eye is a wonderfully shaped ball created by God to let me see Her amazing world. I consider the inside of my balls to be my private area. I don’t care who you are, you’re not flashing them to strangers. Period. End of story.
Reason #5 When we finish our time together, he always makes me pay. What a jerk. I never see him take out his wallet. I don’t think he even carries one.
Reason #6 He’s just mean to me. If I hear him say, “As you get older, your eyes dry out and there’s nothing you can do about it,” one more time, I’m going to lose my temper. It’s not polite to talk about people’s age and everybody who’s not mean knows that. I swear that I will knock him down if I ever again hear him say, “At your age” or “At this stage of your life” .
That’s it. That’s the end of that story. I’m sure more issues will raise their ugly heads. Like dead flowers in my garden, I’ll chop those little heads off and throw them away. Actually I’ll compost them, so I can do my little part in saving our planet. I’ve already replaced my ex with a wonderful woman. I am ready for something new. I’m hoping this relationship will prove to be more mutually beneficial. Life is about change and staying available for that change. Change requires flexibility that allows you to roll with it and not get all tangled up in it. I’m very flexible now. In fact, I’m so flexible from all the changes in my life that I no longer have a spine, which is a whole other story.