So here's what's been up with Hank and Howdy. Hang on to your hats, it's a wild ride over here at our place.
A few months ago I started taking a class toward a Master's degree. The boys got wind of it and decided that they too would sign up at a college and work toward their undergraduate degrees in acrobatics and business. They hope to take over the Circus one day. It was a comedy of errors. Their first hurdle was trying to open the laptop. I keep telling them they don't have opposable thumbs and forefingers, but they get ticked off and tell me I have no faith in them and I'm what's keeping them back from their dreams. Sure, whatever. I can take it. After 3 days I had mercy on them and opened the dang thing.
Finally they had the admission applications filled out and began to apply for financial aid. According to their tax records, they made too much money last year to qualify for anything at all. They claimed they were a minority and should be given special consideration.
Waging a call-in campaign, they chained themselves to the administration building's main door. The college finally blocked their phone number and took out a restraining order against them. It was ridiculous. Of course all the neighbors were home and came out to watch when the Sheriff's department came to present it to them. It was embarrassing to say the least. They couldn't return all their college spirit wear and have now listed it on Craigslist at a rock bottom discount.
After that they were fired up to do something to prove to all of us that they were unstoppable. We called a company meeting and tried to reassure them that they were perfect, whole and wonderful canines and didn't have anything to prove to anybody. Both of them stomped out of the meeting and got back to work exploring their options.
They considered:
-forming a bowling league, but again with the thumbs.
-opening a chain of hot dog stands in California, but all the logo submissions they received looked suspiciously like Dunkin' Donuts.
-speed dating but that was held in a bar and the stools were too high for them. They bought a big monster truck that afternoon to make themselves feel better.
Now they're taking a break, thank the gods for that.
Yesterday we added 4 new members to our Circus! Hank and Howdy have been locked in their room coming up with a training schedule for The Drupree Sisters. They even had their sewing machine out and were measuring the girls for costumes. I told them if they broke our latest vacuum with sequins, the cost of a new one was coming out of their paychecks - what's left of it after they pay me back for the repairs to the company van when they crashed it sneaking out for ice cream last week. I hope this will keep them busy for a while.
Whiskey Jim and I are exhausted from their shenanigans. While it's quiet we're going to start planning our summer show and schedule when we will introduce and showcase "the girls", as we like to call them. We have the coop and are training them so that they can become full members in our cutting edge state of the art performance group.
We'll keep you in the loop in case something else happens, god forbid.
Sweet Honey Watkins, owner - Whiskey Jim and Honey's All American Circus, featuring Hank and Howdy, two tired little cowdogs.